Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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