loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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