dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
