Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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