Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
