just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize