I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
