my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
