She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
