is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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