I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize