I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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