Umm I'm too high to move.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize