My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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