ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
