She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
