I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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