party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
only if we run a train.
done.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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