Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize