Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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