Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
