I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize