It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
