; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
