if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
