So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
