i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
