If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
