We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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