you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
wow bdsm is so cute
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
