i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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