Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
