Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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