Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm both gender and math confused
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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