The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
