His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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