I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
