hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
