i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
