Sponge bath it is.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
