Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
