Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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