I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
