Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize