Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
