So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
