I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
