I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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