Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
