I can tuck mytits in my pants
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
