You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
farters have to be the big spoon...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
