im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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