It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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