I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize