epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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