we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
