I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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